How many times I have sat down to write when words would not come clearly. Too many thoughts clouded by conversations past that take up too much space to the point of becoming overwhelmed.
We strive to think before speaking so as not to offend someone we love and much to the very word uttered, we do it wrong. Once spoken the words cannot be undone. But, we can apologise for the hurt caused. Sometimes we are so hurt by their words and actions that it sets the presidence in motion before we even start the first conversation and thereafter cannot seem to say the right words to convey our deepest thoughts of remorse.
It doesn’t seem to matter with one person I care so deeply about because no matter how hard I try. … my good and best of intentions are never good enough. You begin to feel that you will never measure up in their eyes. What I try desperately to remember during those most difficult of times is that no matter what, God knows me best of all and HE loves me unconditionally even when I don’t deserve it. And I am not defined by someone who still does not have belief in our relationship. I know in my heart, soul and every fiber of my being that God will reach him and work through him and in the end our relationship will be stronger than ever… one flesh united in God’s everlasting love.