Our ever changing times…

There is a great sadness that exists in our world and the things that I used to believe in no longer are a part of who I am as a wife or mother. I have always had a strong sense of family values.. a lot in part to how we were raised as children. No, our family growing up wasn’t perfect. We were very flawed or perhaps I was simply too innocent to notice that our family had some very real issues that later in life would shake me to the core.

But, as I have now learned and experienced, the security and family values I had as a child are now something that I pray about more and more each day. You see, I want my own children to have that foundation that will last them a lifetime. I want for my children (and eventually my grandchildren) to have the same strong family values that can never be compromised due to the popular mainstream ideas of our country.

I don’t believe in abortion for birth  control and I am sad to say that I used to believe in the “couples” right to choose (along with their doctors advise). In some respects I was very much pro-choice and in others very much pro-life. I have now come back fully to the belief that it is only God who decides what is right and that every life has a reason to exist. God is truly the one who is in control of our lives and no man-made laws will overrule His goodness or His plan and direction for our lives.

Earlier years I thought where the mothers and childs life was left in a scary balance, I felt the decision should be left to the parents of the baby based on medical advice… knowing that most responsible parents would pray first to God for wisdom and guidance. Knowing what I know now I can’t even begin to imagine the grief of a couple who would choose to end their unborn child’s life … no matter what the reason!

We were ten years married before we had our first child and doctors said that we would never have children on our own. Well, here we are 32 years later with three blessings from God. We prayed and listened to family and friends nearly destroying our marriage… went as far as we were comfortable with science. What doctors tried to do in their office, we were able to do in the privacy of our own home.

It worked three times!!!

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Never, Never, NEVER Give up…!

On my mind and in my heart .. I am completely blown away today! .. and I will write more later on after I compose myself and literally dry my eyes. All week I have been hearing what our associate pastor’s message would be this morning “The Law of the Pendulum” and how to live a spirit filled life. Actually Anthony’s words were “The Law of the Pendulum” I’ll give practical & biblical advice on how to live a fulfilling Christian life!

God was indeed present in mind, body and spirit and IS always there!.. I opened the bulletin and read the Call to Worship – you will know it well

Ephesians 3:14-21 A Prayer for the Ephesians

14 For this reason I kneel before the Father, 15 from whom every family[a] in heaven and on earth derives its name. 16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge —that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Yesterday morning when Ron & I talked, I prayed this over both of us .. and have been doing for some time… Only when I prayed over Ron & I yesterday, the words really reflected this:

14 For this reason I kneel before the Father, 15 from whom every family[a] in heaven and on earth derives its name. 16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen Ron & Karen with power through his Spirit in Ron & Karen’s inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in Ron & Karen’s hearts through faith. And I pray that Ron & Karen being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge —that Ron & Karen may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all Ron & Karen ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within Ron & Karen 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Today was significant in many ways. First because I had forgotten that today is the day that Kristen & Anthony became One-Flesh .. until death do they part and I was reminded again of God’s will in Marriage.. Mark 10:7-8 7 ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,[a] 8 and the two will become one flesh.’[b]   So they are no longer two, but one flesh.

Secondly, because it serves as a reminder of how to lead a life filled with the Spirt of Christ within us. Gen 2:24; “the two shall become one flesh; so…”Jesus says, “they are no longer two but one flesh” “what therefor GOD has joined together LET NO MAN SEPARATE”…

Did You STOP … LISTEN … HEAR those words that are God’s will for us in marriage? Perhaps as a tribute and blessing Anthony & Kristen’s celebration of 6 years, you would better understand by watching this…

God’s GLORY in Marriage


The Scripture for today came from Luke 15 .. and again it spoke volumes because you know the content and meaning .. all about the 3 Parables… The Lost Sheep, The Lost Coin and the Parable of the Lost Son… NEVER, NEVER, NEVER give up .. Give back to GOD and wait on HIS word .. forevermore…

Next to Mark 10: 7-8 which is God’s will for a spirit filled life, these are amazing scriptures about marriage and becoming one with Christ. 7 ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,[a] 8 and the two will become one flesh.’[b] So they are no longer two, but one flesh. ….The Word of God .. IS GOD’s WILL ….

Then came Anthony’s message about the Law of the Pendulum and our beliefs… he wished he could have taken this sermon as his own .. but, it came actually from a man doing a paper for a college class… you can read more about it here: http://www.sermonillustrations.com/a-z/b/belief.htm

The Law of the Pendulum really asks about our faith and standing on our beliefs and convictions. from his book Ken Davis, How To Speak To Youth, pp 104-106. “Everyone one in the class including the professor said yes to believing in the law… Until, the real lesson began ..

The student posed this question directly to his professor…

After that final restatement of this law, I looked him in the eye and asked, “Sir, do you believe this law is true?” There was a long pause. Huge beads of sweat formed on his upper lip and then weakly he nodded and whispered, “Yes.” I released the pendulum. It made a swishing sound as it arced across the room. At the far end of its swing, it paused momentarily and started back. I never saw a man move so fast in my life. He literally dived from the table. Deftly stepping around the still-swinging pendulum, I asked the class, “Does he believe in the law of the pendulum?” The students unanimously answered, “NO!”


Where will YOU stand? .. a great question to think about and answer! I know where I stand on our marriage!

After the sermon, we all gathered in quiet prayer in a circle holding hands and sang our benediction…

“May the grace of Christ, Our Savior, and the love of God our Father, and the fellowship of the Spirit be with you… May the grace of Christ, Our Savior, and the love of God our Father, and the fellowship of the Spirit be with you….

forever and ever, forever more Amen…”

Today was Anthony and Kristen’s 6th wedding anniversary .. how very appropriate and the message was one of the most beautiful scriptures and based in how to live a Spiritual life.. God was truly speaking to all of us through Anthony’s message.. to say the least there were many tears rolling down my face both during and after the service ..

Thank YOU, Anthony .. you have no idea how much that service meant to me .. actually you do.. after church .. I drove through New Wilmington .. Volant and then down Rt 19 .. and came to Potter’s Run Road .. Isaiah 64:8 ..

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For I know I have the plans for you…

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Genesis 2:23-25

That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

When I think about my marriage of 29 years and remember how we met and the dreams that we had back then, I know that all of it was because of God. You know when you have dreams / visions of something and when you meet that right person – it may not be falling in love on sight, but rather a knowing that comes deep from your core – the inside part of you that is God?

Well, that is how I felt then and now about my husband, Ron. I always had that vision of someone in my mind that looked exactly like Ron… not a clear photo quality picture. It was an unshakeable vision that he and I were meant to be together. God knew us before we were born, before we came into existence and knows our every thoughts and deeds long before we’ve ever done or said anything.

We met in college 1979. He was an engineering student in his last year and I was a music education major. We graduated a year apart and he moved away from our home town. We talked on the phone in the evenings and he was home most weekends. We even started attending church together. Ron was then and now is my best friend.

When I first met Ron, I couldn’t even see his face as it was wintertime and very very cold outside. A group was gathered at the dining hall waiting to go home for the day – all from our home town. They knew that I was looking for a car pool for the next fall and we were all introduced. I borrowed a ride from them that day with me in the back seat of Mike’s car and two guys on either side of me looking desperately out the window nary a glance much less word to me!

Our first date was a Pirates Game!!! My Dad often got tickets – box seats from his work and came up with 4 tickets knowing full well someone was interested in me and me in him. So he suggested asking someone to join him and Mum for an evening out. It was our first date after several months of traveling back and forth to college.

I was pretty naive back then and while they were both nice guys I found myself rather more attracted to the one sitting to my left! From the front seat of the car, Mike kept the conversation light and flowing and all the conversation was good… but never did the two in the back ever say one word to me much less look my direction! All I heard later on was that I had sparked some interest from someone in the car! (And, I didn’t know who!) I even had a couple of dates with the guy sitting to my right that summer and hadn’t still a clue to the name of the person sitting to my left.

To be continued…

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Work in progress…

How many times I have sat down to write when words would not come clearly. Too many thoughts clouded by conversations past that take up too much space to the point of becoming overwhelmed.

We strive to think before speaking so as not to offend someone we love and much to the very word uttered, we do it wrong. Once spoken the words cannot be undone. But, we can apologise for the hurt caused. Sometimes we are so hurt by their words and actions that it sets the presidence in motion before we even start the first conversation and thereafter cannot seem to say the right words to convey our deepest thoughts of remorse.

It doesn’t seem to matter with one person I care so deeply about because no matter how hard I try. … my good and best of intentions are never good enough. You begin to feel that you will never measure up in their eyes. What I try desperately to remember during those most difficult of times is that no matter what, God knows me best of all and HE loves me unconditionally even when I don’t deserve it. And I am not defined by someone who still does not have belief in our relationship. I know in my heart, soul and every fiber of my being that God will reach him and work through him and in the end our relationship will be stronger than ever… one flesh united in God’s everlasting love.

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Too many wires .. too many cords .. oh my…

I’m beginning to think it’s time to go back to some really basic equipment .. PEN and PAPER and that’s it! (with a corded phone) .. Just trying to find the cell phone charger is enough to make one crazy (as if I’m not already there! ..lol..)

Between cell phone chargers, camera chargers, laptops, cordless phones, ipods/pad, etc .. there’s entirely too much ‘live frequency’ going on around here .. and that doesn’t even count for the kids ‘electronics’ including their computers/phones, etc!

And, for the record .. don’t even begin to think about the GPS’s that we have .. 3 of them .. one for each licensed driver .. and ALL the same brand for ease of switching cars … NOT! .. Why can’t all these ‘brand’ name company that make these devices so we can find our way to the local supermarket with interchangeable holders and chargers!!!!!!!

The boys dad bought a new one recently .. just like mine .. and wouldn’t you know it .. even though it looks exactly the same . they use entirely different chargers and the holder doesn’t fit both units.. meaning if we switch cars for any reason .. have to switch out all cords and holders!!!

TOO MUCH 😉 .. time to go back to a less gadget era! ..
ps.. perish the thought as I might go into withdrawal .. if you don’t hear from me within a reasonable time, call the authorities!!!!!!!!! this blonde is on the loose! and not fully wired!

Have a great day!!!

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Listening with intent…

Hear with your heart and not with your head. Listen closely to all that’s said. Be alert and you will see that good communication creates a healthier relationship between you and me! ~ Lisa Kitter

I’ve come to the conclusion that all my best thoughts usually come to me when I never have pen/paper or computer nearby! Sound familiar? .. really am beginning to think that I need to start carrying around my voice recorder to talk out my thoughts so as to put them down when I’m able. Invariably during the course of the day or night thoughts will come into my head after conversations or emails received .. and I’m suddenly taken to a place where the words start flowing and I think .. “oh yes, I must remember and write that down” as if that profound thought can reach that person that brought those thoughts into my head after the fact!

I certainly hope that makes sense .. as it does to me! There is humor in much that we hear and feel and also in the spoken/written word .. if only to our own imagination! At any rate to get myself back on track here .. the quote that I started this journal “hear with your heart and not with your head….” by Lisa .. THANK you, Lisa .. came to me right after having a conversation with someone I care greatly about who is going through a really hard time.

It clicked! .. That little light bulb went off in my head and it was right there .. had I only had pen/paper to write with and not been distracted by the mundane chore that needed doing? .. I would have written the perfect sentiment that went along with that conversation had with my friend.

What the conversation really did? .. was make me feel things deep inside .. maybe call it ESP? .. or that inner voice .. intuition .. that keeps you connected to someone you care about? .. don’t know .. After the conversation ended, it kept in my mind and heart to a point that I could almost hear this person and feel this person thoughts and emotions. Strange isn’t it .. how one can feel so connected to someone. It makes me wonder if we can really control our thoughts so that someone else can feel our energy .. via airwaves .. kind of on the order of Reiki? .. the hands on kind of energy that heals…

In my listening with my heart and not my head .. it conjured up thoughts that I thought I’d long since let go. The connection I felt in deep ways and wanted to reach out and be heard the same way .. through the heart and not the head.

I wish I could fully explain the feelings that sometimes overwhelm me .. to the point that I feel so deeply connected to someone when the people closest to me? .. I don’t have that same connection. Why is that? .. Is it a matter where in the universe there are certain individuals who connect (for lack of better wording) cosmically rather than intellectually ? .. that you feel that connection with someone in some cases before you even put face to face? Maybe just a voice .. and all of a sudden you feel that connection that cannot be explained and you are drawn to that person.

Now to anyone reading this? .. one would likely come to the assumption that this blonde is really “blonde” !! 😉 .. Just a sometimes challenged lady who cares way too much and is looking for answers. I wonder if in listening we are listening truly to what is being said .. to the undertones .. to the ideas and thoughts of another .. or are we listening more to what we ‘want’ to hear that will satisfy our intellect and emotion.

Maybe I really think too much! <smile> and the answers to my own questions? .. maybe shouldn’t go there today on this beautiful gorgeous day .. clear blue skies with puffy white clouds. I sit here in my office looking out the window on a beautiful late afternoon. My boys have just come in after attempting a quick swim in the pool .. much too cool .. deceptive as it looks very inviting. Perhaps tomorrow….

So I will leave you with the thought above, listening with intent .. but, mostly hearing with your heart and not your head .. and I will likely come back later with renewed thoughts and perhaps revise this .. writer’s perogative! .. (never have considered myself one though I’m told would make a good one!)

Journaling has always been a way for me to work out those mind thoughts that come into one’s head as way of discovering truth and resolution.

take care and enjoy a beautiful day.. all for now .. ~k~

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In Memory .. rest in peace

Memorial Day Weekend is upon us and with that we will share many memories of the past and dream of those memories we will make in future. I happened to watch the “Dash” movie that came in my inbox this morning and thought how appropriate that today of all days it would come again.

We’ve all seen the movie that is so thought provoking – http://www.thedashmovie.com/index.html

Yesterday was a day that began early and with a phone call. My sister called to give some very sad news. Our cousin who lived far away had died. When my sister first said there was some very sad news my first thought went to our aunt and uncle who live about an hour from their daughter. They like our own parents are up in years and health not good. The role reversals that come when you need to start caring for your parents – that sandwich generation is what we are dealing with in our own family .. much like so many people we know.

I still can’t grasp the idea that our dear cousin is gone from this earth to what I hope for her is peace and calm after many years of depression and sadness. Knowing in my heart that she is in a better place comes with questions as our cousin didn’t always see our vision of God.

Christine leaves behind a loving husband, wonderful caring parents, and a brother who would always look up to her. She had a beautiful soul and compassion for those around her and always armed with a great sense of humor.

My memories of her was a visit to the states and time spent sharing childhood stories. We didn’t meet until adults. In a way sad that we didn’t have the play and friendship in our growing up years. At that particular time, Christine was an avid knitter who had us crocheting flowers in a hot US summer day! The heat didn’t seem to phase her at all. Hearing her memories of being in England with our Mum made it seem like we’d share the same childhood. Her expressions and her own mother’s expressions were so like our Mum’s that it felt like we had known them all our lives and had shared those memories directly. When Christine looked at you, it was as if she saw right to your very core – she knew you and loved you.

Now it is with great sadness that her life was cut short. As our lives have grown up and apart we had lost touch with her. You cannot reclaim that time which is gone .. those minutes are gone forever .. but the memories that we have of the past will last long into the future.

Rest in peace dear Christine .. we will always love you and miss you…

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